Little Girls with Dreams Grow into Women with Vision

As I have further pursued working with human trafficking victims many people have asked me why? Why not stay safe yourself and pray for them instead? 

Prayer is a good thing, a powerful thing that moves God’s heart and shifts atmospheres of darkness but I know I’m not called to sit and watch on the sidelines while millions of girls suffer on my watch. He has given me a passion and in that passion a responsibility to do something about it. 

I wrote a post awhile back about what it looks like to dream with the Lord and how we should never come to a point where we stop dreaming or where our dreams don’t scare us anymore. I am called to be a dangerous woman of the Lord, and God has given me a dream to walk alongside woman and children who have lost all hope of dreaming because all their life they have been abused, manipulated, and used. My father in heaven has promised that He is going to bring this dream into reality and use me to speak life and hope where none can be found.

As I was praying about a week back the Lord gave me this picture of a child’s hands making a square and holding it up to the stars, essentially dreaming of what His or her future could hold. Oh how my heart felt joy in just seeing that alone. I want to be a safe place where baby girls who have been trafficked, abused, and stripped of worth can dream again. I found an anonymous quote that says, 

“Little girls with dreams grow into women with vision.” 

Man does that resonate with my Spirit. I want to be a safe place that these girls can come to and dream so that they can grow into women with fierce vision from the Lord. The Lord is moving in my Spirit and stirring a dream that scares me, and I know He is giving me an inheritance that far outweighs any that I could ask or imagine right here on earth reaching these girls.  

It's So Simple.

Well I’ve been in Mijas for a full day now and Jesus has already blown my mind with where He has brought me. I knew stepping on the plane in buffalo that this next 6 months was going to be a gift- a time of uninterrupted intimacy with my savior, but when I actually saw Mijas I was blown away. Jesus has always spoken clearest to me when I’ve been by water- creeks, ponds, lakes, Niagara Falls, the Indian Ocean, anywhere really. So it makes complete sense that Jesus has brought me to a place where I’m living in the side of a mountain facing the Mediterranean Sea right outside my window. Like a precious gift awaiting me and reminding me of his favor and faithfulness every day I hear and see those waves crashing into the shore. 

It is so evident that this place is so simple yet so full of life, even from spending just 24 hours here. Last night we ate dinner family style on the rooftop as the sun set over Mijas and the Med. Sea and just worshipped the Lord freely. I didn’t really realize how much I needed to spend my first night just worshipping the Lord for what He’s doing until I was actually doing it. I sat with people from Norway, England, Spain, and America and we just sang our hearts out to God- in different languages and different positions. It was Beautiful and absolutely incredible to feel His presence so deeply moving through each of us. A friend from England, Bollo grabbed the guitar and started to sing these lyrics and for the first time in a long time I felt it- I felt the truth of it grip me and reveal what He has for me. 

In you I’m free to live, free to breathe, free to be. It’s so simple. 

That’s what this season is about. Being free to live and love and be in the presence of my savior without distractions and other things fighting for my heart. He is doing endurance training with my heart so that when I do leave this place in 6 months no circumstance will be able to chip away at it or my faith one bit.  It is so dang simple, yet so often we complicate this truth. Our satisfaction and steadfastness in faith comes from His presence. We cannot be immovable in our faith if we don’t get that. So breathe in God’s presence and come alive right where He has you. It is that simple. 

Death Sentence.

The past two months being home have been so good but so hard at the same time. I’ve had to battle a lot of lies from the enemy and hold fast to the calling I know God has given me to go.

 

That word “go” is something that absolutely makes my heart beat faster while terrifying me at the same time. I don’t fear getting on a plane and heading to the nations. I don’t fear sitting on the side of the road with the lowest of the cast system or stepping in overcrowded bars to speak life into women being trafficked. I don’t fear giving up my “American things” and living with what I can fit in a back pack. I don’t fear going to new places with people I don’t know. The past three years has striped me of any inclination towards those fears, but for some reason leaving in one week feels like a death sentence. A death sentence that sounds like this:

“And your ears will hear a word behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it…” Isaiah 30:21

 It sounds absolutely crazy in the world’s eyes to be giving up my teaching degree, selling my things and going to a foreign land with barely anything in my pocket- all because I heard a voice say “go,” but I find so much comfort in the fact that this wasn’t my plan or my voice speaking.  I can’t deny the absolute truth that the Lord is the one that is guiding this and the only one worth facing a death sentence to my plans for. I’ve heard a gentle and clear voice speak- the very same voice that called me out of darkness and into purpose.

It would be absolutely absurd to be frustrated that God is speaking to me but honestly I have been. It’s been a season of mourning what could have been and a time to rest- the original Greek definition of rest that leaves a taste of expectation in your mouth. I have been learning what it looks like to live in a rhythm of patient expectation for what God’s doing and to release those frustrations of what I thought I wanted for my life. 

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful” Hebrews 10:23

This promise alone gives me what I will need to step onto the plane next week and to not look back any longer to what could have been. He has been so faithful to me, provided in abundance for every single one of my needs, and gifted me with a calling. So I can wait and expect that God is going to do great things in this next season of life-because He who promised me that is so dang faithful.

Finding Treasure.

I’ve been off the mission field for three weeks now and just transitioning into what God has for me here in Buffalo. It has been a tough transition leaving parts of my heart in India and all over the United States where my girls are. Transitions are usually hard for me but this one has been even harder than normal knowing that I only have a short window before I head to Spain to spend with my family and friends. My heart knows that this is what God has ordered my steps to do but change is always hard- especially quick change. 

God has made it very clear that this short season at home is to be one of rest- something that I have learned very quickly is tough for me. It’s difficult not being able to serve in the same capacity here at home while I wait. In the past two days I decided to stop being so stubborn and just bend to resting – and I can’t even begin to tell you how full my heart has been today. I went on a run with Jesus today as the sun was setting (one of those duke it out and surrender type of runs) and as I protested to God about not feeling used here and not knowing where the money for Spain would come from, He stopped me and reminded me of why I’m doing all this. 

He brought the parable of the man who found the treasure in the field, hid the treasure, and sold all he had to buy that field to the forefront of my mind. (Matthew 13) I’ve read this parable probably a hundred times over, but Jesus struck my heart differently when I read it again. That man decided to give up everything- his rights to his next meal, to making a living, to comfort and stability, and most importantly to his fears of the future because he knew that the treasure was immeasurably valuable to him.  I stood in the field next to my house, looking at the sunset as I knew Jesus was screaming to me- Is the kingdom so immeasurably valuable to you that you will trade your fears of your whole future for it?

I was quickly on my knees bawling and thanking God for the opportunity to even know the depths of what that treasure is and the having the honor of giving up all I have to further His kingdom.  So I’m packing  up and selling my car and most of my things and buying my plane ticket to Spain knowing  I have no back-up plan, no fluffy savings account to buy back my things if it doesn’t work out. I just fully know the immeasurable treasure that I’ve found- and I’m ready to go share the same thing with the nations.

So on this journey- Spain is next. I am going to a missions training school called G42 leadership academy that will train and equip me for long term missions as I attend class, do missions, eat, and do life with missionaries who have been doing it their whole lives.  If you want to be a part of this journey and support what God is doing you can give online at http://www.g42leadershipacademy.org/donate with my name under the intern section or you can send checks to me personally. (get ahold of me for my address) Thanks for the prayers and support- they are crucial to the plans God has for me.

Left pieces of my heart in India...

Today we touched down on American soil for the first time in two months and I couldn’t help but let tears flow as the wheel hit the ground hard. I felt the reality of leaving so much of my heart in India hit hard with the landing. Images flooded my mind of the beautiful community that has grown from 11 strangers, Indian babies and the smiles that captured my heart, the tangible presence and favor of God we got to see, and all that the new normal that life has become for me in India entails.

In my mind I have always convinced myself that I’m a great blogger but in all reality I learned this summer that I have a really hard time putting to words the experiences I have overseas with Jesus and the moments that God gives me glimpses of his own heart and breaks mine for the hurting, the orphans, the beggar, and the lost. This summer I found a new way to really express that more and it was through capturing moments on film of what God sees through me. So here are some of my favorite moments that God blessed me with experiencing this summer. 

This is what the normal life became for us in India. Daily being flooded by Indian children yelling “hi how are you!” My heart is going to miss walking down dirty streets hand in hand with kids who don’t speak my language but knows my heart so well. 

This is my beautiful team of 11 Godly women. I was blessed with the opportunity to co-lead these beautiful girls and watch God transform their hearts and minds to His. This body was an unstoppable force this summer and brought redemption and healing to my life and so many others in India.

This beautiful girl captured my heart from the moment I met her. Malathi’s smile lit up a room in such a hopeless looking environment. Loving on her and being a part of her life the last 2 months has shown me a glimpse into what it looks like to have pure joy in all circumstances because of the Lord. Her heart is pure and one day she will see God with a perfect body. 

This precious baby girl is named chetu. She has taught me more in the past 2 months than she will ever be aware of. Her family hired someone to leave her to die in a train station when she was only 4 months old. From day one she has been fighting for life and hasn’t taken a breath since. She is stubborn, and beautiful and a lot of who I am. I got to document some of her very first steps- the moments where she finally defied the circumstances she was in. It was Beautiful and one of the moments where I experienced God the most in India. She has my heart for sure- and she will grow up into a woman who adores the Lord. I’ve spent countless hours holding, rocking, praying over and loving on this beautiful masterpiece Jesus made. 

So these are just a few pieces of my heart that are rooted in India. He does go before us and give us glimpses of His heart when we ask for it.