A Dream becoming a Reality.

On the way to Spain about a little over a month ago my heart was aching for Cambodia, and for a ministry called Agape International Missions more specifically. They are a ministry in Svay Pak that is on the front lines battling child trafficking. I have heard their story, raised funds back in Buffalo with my college ministry, and prayed often for them but on that plane my heart ached to be there loving on those girls myself. I quickly corrected my heart, thinking it was what I wanted and not what God did but that question still lingered even after the plane landed.

About a week later I revisited that question asking God myself if it was what I wanted or what He wanted. His answer was so sweet to my ears as he whispered, “Sarah, it’s what we want. I trust you and I’m with you in this decision.” 

There is a point in any relationship where maturity happens. We grow, we trust, and we make decisions knowing the other person’s heart involved. I knew I was at a point where my heart was aligning with God’s and that He trusted me to make the decision knowing I had His heart in mind. So I took a risk, a leap of faith and applied for a job with agape. 

When I opened the email reply a couple days later, my heart dropped. “I’m sorry but you don’t have what we are looking for” was all I had to read to start protesting God in my mind and let doubts rise in my heart. During this time, we had a teacher here at G42 named Ethan who was sharing his story- where he has honestly faced almost every trial that could come against his dream and yet He was still standing before us encouraging us in ours. I didn’t understand it. He told us that at one point he felt like he had stepped out of the boat again and took that step of faith only to feel like Jesus had walked away. Man, did that resonate well with how I was feeling

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A couple days later I found out that Don and Bridget- the founders of Agape were coming to Mijas to speak at our school. Once again I heard God’s voice speaking for me to keep fighting for that dream. I wanted to protest it but at the same time I my heart still wanted to be in Cambodia. A staff member arranged it so that I could have lunch with the Don and Bridget and they couldn’t have felt more like home to me. We both shared our hearts and I knew this was a divine appointment God had made. 

Don and Bridget left just yesterday after asking me to be a part of their team- teaching some of their beautiful girls that have been rescued from the evils of trafficking. So it is with great excitement to share that I will be in Cambodia working with Agape after my time here in Spain comes to an end. I can’t wait to contend for these girls hearts and become a part of this community as the Lord uses me to teach and love on these precious girls. More details will come soon, but all I can say is that I am blessed to have a savior that gifts me with great things and has put a dream in my heart to contend for these precious young girls.  

Little Girls with Dreams Grow into Women with Vision

As I have further pursued working with human trafficking victims many people have asked me why? Why not stay safe yourself and pray for them instead? 

Prayer is a good thing, a powerful thing that moves God’s heart and shifts atmospheres of darkness but I know I’m not called to sit and watch on the sidelines while millions of girls suffer on my watch. He has given me a passion and in that passion a responsibility to do something about it. 

I wrote a post awhile back about what it looks like to dream with the Lord and how we should never come to a point where we stop dreaming or where our dreams don’t scare us anymore. I am called to be a dangerous woman of the Lord, and God has given me a dream to walk alongside woman and children who have lost all hope of dreaming because all their life they have been abused, manipulated, and used. My father in heaven has promised that He is going to bring this dream into reality and use me to speak life and hope where none can be found.

As I was praying about a week back the Lord gave me this picture of a child’s hands making a square and holding it up to the stars, essentially dreaming of what His or her future could hold. Oh how my heart felt joy in just seeing that alone. I want to be a safe place where baby girls who have been trafficked, abused, and stripped of worth can dream again. I found an anonymous quote that says, 

“Little girls with dreams grow into women with vision.” 

Man does that resonate with my Spirit. I want to be a safe place that these girls can come to and dream so that they can grow into women with fierce vision from the Lord. The Lord is moving in my Spirit and stirring a dream that scares me, and I know He is giving me an inheritance that far outweighs any that I could ask or imagine right here on earth reaching these girls.  

It's So Simple.

Well I’ve been in Mijas for a full day now and Jesus has already blown my mind with where He has brought me. I knew stepping on the plane in buffalo that this next 6 months was going to be a gift- a time of uninterrupted intimacy with my savior, but when I actually saw Mijas I was blown away. Jesus has always spoken clearest to me when I’ve been by water- creeks, ponds, lakes, Niagara Falls, the Indian Ocean, anywhere really. So it makes complete sense that Jesus has brought me to a place where I’m living in the side of a mountain facing the Mediterranean Sea right outside my window. Like a precious gift awaiting me and reminding me of his favor and faithfulness every day I hear and see those waves crashing into the shore. 

It is so evident that this place is so simple yet so full of life, even from spending just 24 hours here. Last night we ate dinner family style on the rooftop as the sun set over Mijas and the Med. Sea and just worshipped the Lord freely. I didn’t really realize how much I needed to spend my first night just worshipping the Lord for what He’s doing until I was actually doing it. I sat with people from Norway, England, Spain, and America and we just sang our hearts out to God- in different languages and different positions. It was Beautiful and absolutely incredible to feel His presence so deeply moving through each of us. A friend from England, Bollo grabbed the guitar and started to sing these lyrics and for the first time in a long time I felt it- I felt the truth of it grip me and reveal what He has for me. 

In you I’m free to live, free to breathe, free to be. It’s so simple. 

That’s what this season is about. Being free to live and love and be in the presence of my savior without distractions and other things fighting for my heart. He is doing endurance training with my heart so that when I do leave this place in 6 months no circumstance will be able to chip away at it or my faith one bit.  It is so dang simple, yet so often we complicate this truth. Our satisfaction and steadfastness in faith comes from His presence. We cannot be immovable in our faith if we don’t get that. So breathe in God’s presence and come alive right where He has you. It is that simple. 

Death Sentence.

The past two months being home have been so good but so hard at the same time. I’ve had to battle a lot of lies from the enemy and hold fast to the calling I know God has given me to go.

 

That word “go” is something that absolutely makes my heart beat faster while terrifying me at the same time. I don’t fear getting on a plane and heading to the nations. I don’t fear sitting on the side of the road with the lowest of the cast system or stepping in overcrowded bars to speak life into women being trafficked. I don’t fear giving up my “American things” and living with what I can fit in a back pack. I don’t fear going to new places with people I don’t know. The past three years has striped me of any inclination towards those fears, but for some reason leaving in one week feels like a death sentence. A death sentence that sounds like this:

“And your ears will hear a word behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it…” Isaiah 30:21

 It sounds absolutely crazy in the world’s eyes to be giving up my teaching degree, selling my things and going to a foreign land with barely anything in my pocket- all because I heard a voice say “go,” but I find so much comfort in the fact that this wasn’t my plan or my voice speaking.  I can’t deny the absolute truth that the Lord is the one that is guiding this and the only one worth facing a death sentence to my plans for. I’ve heard a gentle and clear voice speak- the very same voice that called me out of darkness and into purpose.

It would be absolutely absurd to be frustrated that God is speaking to me but honestly I have been. It’s been a season of mourning what could have been and a time to rest- the original Greek definition of rest that leaves a taste of expectation in your mouth. I have been learning what it looks like to live in a rhythm of patient expectation for what God’s doing and to release those frustrations of what I thought I wanted for my life. 

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful” Hebrews 10:23

This promise alone gives me what I will need to step onto the plane next week and to not look back any longer to what could have been. He has been so faithful to me, provided in abundance for every single one of my needs, and gifted me with a calling. So I can wait and expect that God is going to do great things in this next season of life-because He who promised me that is so dang faithful.

Finding Treasure.

I’ve been off the mission field for three weeks now and just transitioning into what God has for me here in Buffalo. It has been a tough transition leaving parts of my heart in India and all over the United States where my girls are. Transitions are usually hard for me but this one has been even harder than normal knowing that I only have a short window before I head to Spain to spend with my family and friends. My heart knows that this is what God has ordered my steps to do but change is always hard- especially quick change. 

God has made it very clear that this short season at home is to be one of rest- something that I have learned very quickly is tough for me. It’s difficult not being able to serve in the same capacity here at home while I wait. In the past two days I decided to stop being so stubborn and just bend to resting – and I can’t even begin to tell you how full my heart has been today. I went on a run with Jesus today as the sun was setting (one of those duke it out and surrender type of runs) and as I protested to God about not feeling used here and not knowing where the money for Spain would come from, He stopped me and reminded me of why I’m doing all this. 

He brought the parable of the man who found the treasure in the field, hid the treasure, and sold all he had to buy that field to the forefront of my mind. (Matthew 13) I’ve read this parable probably a hundred times over, but Jesus struck my heart differently when I read it again. That man decided to give up everything- his rights to his next meal, to making a living, to comfort and stability, and most importantly to his fears of the future because he knew that the treasure was immeasurably valuable to him.  I stood in the field next to my house, looking at the sunset as I knew Jesus was screaming to me- Is the kingdom so immeasurably valuable to you that you will trade your fears of your whole future for it?

I was quickly on my knees bawling and thanking God for the opportunity to even know the depths of what that treasure is and the having the honor of giving up all I have to further His kingdom.  So I’m packing  up and selling my car and most of my things and buying my plane ticket to Spain knowing  I have no back-up plan, no fluffy savings account to buy back my things if it doesn’t work out. I just fully know the immeasurable treasure that I’ve found- and I’m ready to go share the same thing with the nations.

So on this journey- Spain is next. I am going to a missions training school called G42 leadership academy that will train and equip me for long term missions as I attend class, do missions, eat, and do life with missionaries who have been doing it their whole lives.  If you want to be a part of this journey and support what God is doing you can give online at http://www.g42leadershipacademy.org/donate with my name under the intern section or you can send checks to me personally. (get ahold of me for my address) Thanks for the prayers and support- they are crucial to the plans God has for me.