Coming Alive Again [Picture Blog]

It has been a crazy couple weeks transitioning from Cambodia to India. I have been at a loss of words to blog all that God has been teaching me and all the places He has taken me, but when I seem to come to this point where I can't form words, God always allows photography to come back into my life.

 I've found that I really love taking pictures and capturing the natural moments of joy in others- whether thats an orphan or street child or just your average Joe in other countries. I love having my eye behind the lens waiting for the perfect moment to capture a piece of God in someone else.

I've also found that I can't capture moments that aren't in my promised lands. I tried taking pictures in several countries in Europe and America and it was like I had never held a camera in my life, but the second I set foot in Cambodia and back on Indian soil the past month and a half my pictures have come alive again. And I have come alive again myself, too. 

It somehow wasn't a surprise when I was asked to photograph the village in Cambodia I stayed in and the children I was going to be living with in India. God knows our hearts so intimately and loves to speak through us through different means than just our mouths. He takes our gifts and lets them come to life when we come alive. 

So, here are my words to my life the past month and a half. 

Keep Hope In Your Eyes

Kampong Speu, Cambodia

Create Something New Everyday

Kampong Speu, Cambodia

These Hands You've Made To Hold, My Beloved. 

Hyderabad, India

Beauty In The Fight For Life

Hyderabad, India

In Your Presence I'm Made Whole 

Hyderabad, India

No Shore In Sight

I've started probably 3 different blogs in the past couple days at an attempt to share what my life looks like right now here in Cambodia. All have been wordy and described a glimpse of the trafficking, poverty, brokenness, and needs of the beautiful people here in Cambodia but I have stopped writing each half way, knowing they don't suffice to what Holy Spirit really wants me to say. So I'm going to get really honest and really vulnerable quick- bear with me.

The past three days for me have been really difficult and really revealing to where my heart is and where God is taking me. I've learned pretty quickly that with a calling this heavy comes a lot of responsibility- responsibility that I can choose to pick up or brush off. I can set out from the shore with my staff into deep waters or I can stay near the familiarity of land a few rows away.

To be perfectly frank, if I want to see freedom come to my teachers and students from the strongholds and bondage of darkness, then I can't have any of that on me. The past three days have been sitting in a small room in a hostel in Phnom Penh letting God painfully surface things I need to let go of. From fear of letting go of control, to hurts that still remained from past relationships, to fear of the unknown--I felt overwhelmed. These are things I know that most people carry for their entire lives, most of the time unaware they are even lingering- much like myself. Most of the things The Spirit brought up were things I didn't know were even hovering over me still and as I asked why He chose to bring them up all at once now, I realized the answer to that was already clear.

 If there is room for anything to surface in a storm it will surface, and I know I'm headed into a storm with my boat to the middle of the deep sea with no shore in sight.

The boat is pointed towards a storm but the beautiful thing is God has called me to be the eye of the storm. A place where He himself can rest because He trusts me. He trusts me to care for these women and these children and to take steps with them back towards the eye of the storm where there is peace and clarity to see hope and new life.

If there is one thing I am beginning to see more as truth daily it's that the natural and the spiritual very much go hand in hand. We are a door for Kingdom to be accessed here on earth and that means that even when we are just sitting down for coffee with a friend we are a door for them to access the kingdom of God. I was sitting downstairs the other day in the hostel and a woman here looked at me after I smiled at her and said 'When you smile I can't help but smile too.' Naturally it was just a smile, but spiritually she was seeing a hope in me that she couldn't help but feel when I was around. That hope of Christ in me is what so many Cambodians need restored in them. Hope to smile, to dream, to laugh, and to be free again.

1 Corinthians 2 says that "we have the mind of Christ" and if I have the mind of Christ I can access His thoughts, ideas, plans, desires, and compassions by the Sprit of God that resides in me. Naturally I don't have everything I need to lead these teachers to freedom but spiritually I have access to all of my Heavenly Father that does. It is so beautiful to see that my natural gifts partner so well with what the Spirit wants to do through me.

I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm releasing, and finding that my natural partnership with Holy Spirit is exactly what is needed to stand in the storm.  

Tuk-Tuks, Khmai, and Hungry People

We arrived here in Cambodia only 3 short days, but it feels like The Lord has taken us on a crazy amazing whirlwind of an adventure already with Agape. We have spent the past three days soaking in the culture of busy streets, tuk-tuks, khmai, and humble people hungry for hope. For only being here for such a short time this place-Agape in particular feels like home. The American staff feel like home. The Cambodian teachers feel like home. The kids running around barefoot with huge smiles on their faces feel like home.

I sat in a staff meeting yesterday with the teachers I will be discipling and pouring into here and I can honestly say I really love them. They are people filled with a hunger to grow- in their relationship with The Lord and their students. Most of them are barely keeping their head above water and dealing with some tough things in their own pasts while trying to teach kids that are broken and trafficked themselves. But they are hungry for hope, for improvement, and for healing. They have been waiting a long time for someone to come and to pour into them and build relationships with them- and as soon i showed up they didn't stop asking me questions and wanting that relationship. August feels like an eternity before I can come back and become a part of this body of Christ and help to build it up but I am so humbled and honored knowing they are waiting and ready for me to come back.

Last night I spent some time just seeking The Lord on what He really wants to do through me in working for Agape and His answer tasted like sweet honey as He spoke it to me. He gave me this beautiful picture of Him leading me to a building site hand in mine and as we watched these men build the school building, He spoke dreams and life into me. Like a daddy-daughter conversation, just sitting in God's presence was so beautiful and He said 'As they build the walls of the school, you will be building up the staff of Cambodian teachers. Their foundation is me but now it is time to build the body up into a unified force of love.'

Agape has purchased an open plot of land that is filled with potential to be a place of healing, love, and greater opportunities  for students in Svay Pak that are being trafficked and abused daily. I believe that as we physically build up that school on the land, He will be building up this body of Christ in the teachers that will be a wrecking ball to strongholds, warfare, and anything that comes against the hope of their students and their futures. I am honored to be a part of this- to teach and train these Cambodian teachers that will change their own village of Svay Pak and nation.

God has called me to speak things into existence that not yet are and to build. I speak over this school and staff that they will speak the truth in love growing up in everyone to Him who is the head, into Christ, from which the whole body joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when every part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. (Ephesians 4) I am ready to equip, build up and love this body of Christ until they do the same for each other.

Tomorrow Andrea and I head into the village of Kampong Speu to love on some amazing kids and teach English and bible studies. We are still in need of finances and prayer to continue this journey- If you would like to partner with this hit the parter with me tab and there is a pay pal link :) Please be praying for us- for what The Lord wants to do through us in this village and for my staff of teachers in Svay Pak- that The Lord would be preparing their hearts for healing and growth and unity in the faith. Grateful for all of you!!! 

From Europe to Asia.

I graduate here in four days, and in nine days I will once again be stepping onto a plane headed to the nations to love on people in the poorest places in the world. I have mixed emotions as I try to process all this change that is quickly happening- leaving my tribe here in Spain and stepping into the unknown once again with Jesus. Even amidst all this change I still have my peace and my savior who I can press into in the unknown and trust as my constant.

This trip over the next two months is one that I know is going to be life changing, there is so much depth to God's heart that I want to discover and see His love for new faces and old faces that I love in India. There is so much on the horizon waiting for my roommate Andrea and I and we are ready to meet God in the toughest places and the most hopeless looking places in the world and bring the light and life that we hold.

Here are the where and what's of the trip:

First stop: Phnom Penh, Cambodia

We will be staying in Phnom Penh for a couple of days when we first arrive to apply for Indian Visas and to visit Agape International Missions to see where I will be moving in August. I will get the opportunity to meet the staff I will be working with, see the school I will be working in, and start to build some relationships.

Next Stop: Kampong Speu, Cambodia

The Lord made it very clear that we are supposed to be working with YWAM and in this village. We will be teaching english, leading bible studies and loving on the people in this small village on the outskirts of Phnom Penh. We will be taking bucket showers, catching lice, bringing the presence of God and loving every minute of it.

Next Stop: Andhra Pradesh, India

We will be working with Sarah's Covenant Homes in two locations: Hyderabad and a disclosed town 6 hours from Hyderabad. Both Andrea and I have already worked here and fallen in love with some of the kids there and we cannot wait to see them again! Sarah's covenant homes works with children with special needs that have been abandoned often times for death. I will also begin the process of asking God what squatter camp He wants be to build a school and safe house for trafficking victims at. The disclosed town is where I first encountered trafficking and a squatter camp and where God created the wound in me to show me that I need to do something about it.

Final Stop: Calcutta, India

Andrea and I are teaming with two of our roommates here in Spain (Brant and Josh) to work at the Mother Theresa home in Calcutta. Our heart in this is to not only love on the kids in the orphanage and adults in the house of the dying but to be the life and light of who God really is to those also working with us there. This organization although built on a foundation of Christ, has a variety of volunteers from all over the world that have come to find themselves or something more in life- and we want to be the light pointing them to Christ. I will also visit some more squatter camps and listen to where God is leading, still asking Him what squatter camp He wants me working with long term.

I cannot wait to see where and what God leads us to in these places. This vision trip is vital to what God is leading me into next working for Agape International Missions and for pioneering my own school and safe house in India. The total of this trip is $3000 and I am in need of partners both prayerfully and financially. If you would like to give there is a paypal link in the partner with me tab above, and if you would like to be on my prayer team you can send me an email at hendeesl01@yahoo.com  

I am so grateful for all The Lord is doing in my life and all the people who are a part of this adventure with me.

Wrapped in His Promises

The sights and smells of India are unforgettable.

Burning trash, incense, and exhaust everywhere. Add a downpour of rain to this mix and you've got a smelly wet beautiful mess.

That is exactly where I was seven months ago- standing in an Indian market surrounded by colorful jewelry, trinkets, cloth, and so much more.  I bartered back and forth for a colorful blanket filled with elephants and left the market that day unaware of the significance it had and what God wanted to speak to me about. As we lifted off of Indian ground, my heart knew I would be back and God had spoken that I would be back too.

Fast forward to France this past New Years. I felt a wound begin to reopen that I hadn't realized I had gotten when I was in india. Every day on the train into Paris we would pass a squatter camp of Romanian gypsies living under tarps in poverty and every time we did my heart wrenched. Casually on one of our rides in, our French friend told us they were uneducated and trafficked. My heart instantly thought back to India, where we lived next to a squatter camp where I knew the kids were being trafficked. I had no power to do anything about it while I was  there and it created a wound in me that felt like it was re-ripped open in France. It was in that moment in France where I felt exposed and bleeding that I realized that God was speaking for me to do something about it.

The past month and a half have been a time of me trying to wrap my mind around how all this will be put together and where God really wants me. The days that I am overwhelmed God gives me reminders that I am wrapped in His promises and it's okay that my mind can't wrap around them. I've slept wrapped in my blanket from India ever since I left that land and it wasn't until this week that I realize what words are on the blanket and the further reassurance of His promises to me.

In French, the words read: l'homme propose dieu dispose

"Man plans, God has."

I could have planned a nice life for myself. A nice teaching job, dream home, 2.5 children but The Lord had other plans for me. Plans for me to teach the uneducated and love on the trafficked in places where they are considered less than human. He has called India my promise land- filled with milk and honey or burning trash and beautiful people.

I share my somewhat scattered heart to let you in on this journey with me.

In one month I graduate from G42 and will go to India and Cambodia with one of my amazing roommates. I am going to India to ask The Lord where exactly he wants me to start my own ministry there.

I'm also going to Cambodia to see where I will be living when I move there later this summer. In Cambodia I will be working for Agape International Missions, teaching children who are currently being trafficked. This is just the start of something bigger for me in India and will be a place for me to learn, grow, and serve under a thriving anti-trafficking ministry.

I am still prayerfully and financially in need. If you want to partner in what God is doing here at G42 in Spain, Cambodia, or India you can hit the partner with me button above. I can't do any of this without you and I am blessed to have such amazing supporters of Gods kingdom work through me.

Stay At The Table.

Picture something with me for a moment. Picture a table set for two- candles are lit, flowers in a vase, plates are out, forks, knives, and napkins all folded and placed perfectly in their spots. Being Valentines Day, it’s not hard to picture this scene- its romantic, welcoming and frankly exactly where most people want to be on a day like today. A man can make this all happen- set everything up but it is still the choice of the woman if she wants to show up and partake in what was done for her.

When Jesus walked the earth, He spent a lot of time around tables- making them and sitting at them with his disciples and lots of others. He knew what it meant to make covenants and to do life with others. A couple of months ago I said yes to not only sitting down at the table with God which I have done for quite a few years now- but I made covenant not to leave the table. Something that seems so simple isn’t something that I’ve taken lightly- covenant means forever. Staying at the table means that no matter what, I choose to walk through the plans He has for me- to not look back but to tabernacle with God (or commit to His presence) through it all. That means listening to the voice of God in every step of everything I do. That means intimacy with Jesus everyday, and that means one crazy adventure with my heavenly Father.

Lately God has been beginning to bring out the food to the table, and it hasn’t been scraps or crumbs. It’s been real food. It’s been big promises He’s spoken over me, new gifts, and greater depths of His love and the Holy Spirit and to be honest it has scared me a little. It scares be because its foreign territory to me- I’ve never been romanced like this before or had someone so willing to just sit and be with me, the real me- flaws and all, and at the same time feed me the best of what He has for me. The beauty in all this is that He has been so patient with my heart and just sits with me and talks through it with me. My heart is beginning to love this constant feeling of butterflies in my stomach, head spinning, and heart pumping in my chest as I listen to His voice and grow deeper in love with the one who created me.

“What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” Luke 11:11-13

**Stay tuned here for some exciting news coming soon about more of what God is doing next. 

I Want To Be A Millionaire

I want to be a millionaire. 

This statement looks pretty lofty for a missionary and honestly I never thought it would be something that was going to come out of my mouth. My hearts desire is to be a millionaire but not in the form you are probably thinking. As my teacher here told us a story of a man who wanted to reach a million people for Christ in his lifetime, I found my heart aching to reach out to a million being trafficked.

The numbers in human trafficking are astounding if you sit down and read them- 27 million people are in the bondage of slavery and that number is only growing daily.

Looking at the multitude of the problem I find myself saying, I do want to be a millionaire- saving a million children from the yoke of sex slavery in my lifetime.

Crazy you say? It is a pretty bold statement that honestly looks unattainable. I’ve learned in my time here that if I want to make a dent in this worldwide problem I’m going to have to fight for things that look unreachable. I’m going to have to look past the numbers, past those saying not to bother fighting a “losing battle” and see the hope that I bring to the table for these children. Jeremiah experienced something similar to this when God first called and spoke to him.

“And the word of the LORD came to me, saying, “Jeremiah, what do you see?” And I said, “I see an almond branch.” Then the LORD said to me, “You have seen well, for I am watching over my word to perform it.” Jeremiah 1:11-12

An almond branch is something very unique- it blooms beautiful flowers in the middle of winter. In the middle of a time where there should be no fruition at all, no blooming of anything, it stands as a sign for the hope and new life that is to come. Jeremiah looked past what his physical eyes could see and the problem in front of him to see what was coming- and that was hope and life through him. The Lord knew Jeremiah’s heart and in that trusted what He said so much that God spoke that He would make it come to pass. What a crazy amount of trust for a young man, with little confidence being called to something that was going to affect nations.

The same rings true in my own life. I know that God trusts me, and that He trusts my heart with this large of a calling. So I choose to speak out hope and life. I see and almond branch for Cambodia and for India. I see hope for a million children that are trapped in sex slavery right now, and I know that hope starts with me. 

Where do you see an almond branch?